Common Health Issues

10 safe steps to a healthier self-confidence

Do something instead of talking!

If you carry around old terror images and a crushing inner voice, it serves no useful purpose to talk to others about your fear. You’ll only risk intensifying it by drawing attention to your problems. To ponder about the past or focus on other people’s mistakes won’t do any good either. You must act and take care of yourself.

Stop your thoughts of disaster

When you’re thinking, your plans won’t work, it probably won’t. If you’re always telling yourself, that you are dumb at something, you won’t learn it. If you go out with the thought that no one will talk to you, then no one probably won’t talk to you. The negative expectations will be written all over your face and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The self-destructive thoughts will also be planted in your sub consciousness that increases the fear and excitement. A vicious circle is created for everything to go seriously wrong. Positive thoughts that calm you down and effect the sub consciousness in a positive direction is the only way forward. Thinking negative, you can’t stay calm and full of courage. On the other hand, if you concentrate positively about how you manage the situation, you can’t, at the same time, imagine a failure.

Recognize your Demons

Learn to identify the destructive statements when you tend to them. It’s typical when you exaggerate your bad abilities, expect the worst and use ‘absolutes’ about yourself like: “I can’t do anything right”. When you catch yourself in this, replace it with a positive, realistic statement instead. I.e. replace “I’ll never get that job” with “I might not get the job, but I’ll do my best at the interview.” Or replace “I’ll probably make a fool of myself” with “I’ll do it as good as I can, and if I keep calm, it’ll be alright.”

Strengthen your “I”

Are you the “invisible” type, make yourself visible. Don’t be afraid to take the word. Most people see this positively and it works like a fertilizer on yourself confident to say what you think and mean. You might get yourself into embarrassing situations or conflicts, but so what? You grow from them. Receive praise without giving others’ the honor or think there might be ulterior motives. It’s also a bad habit only to tell what you can’t so. Tell what you’re good at. Dump the word “one” if you really mean “I” and you’ll become more visible.

Make realistic goals

What abilities do your need to feel good enough? It can be all levels: To get in a better shape, lose weight, be a good friend, can make a speech etc. It must be realistic goals. Plan how you will train these abilities one by one and do it every day. If you’re overweight and your plan includes fitness exercising you might be afraid to show yourself the first couple of times. By building your abilities systematically (and reminding yourself that you’ll succeed!) you’ll be even more convinced that you do possess them.

Little steps forward

Take little steps on the road of self-confidence and build it slowly as a marathon runner who builds up the shape. From here, you can use your success experiences in other connections and start a good spiral. It takes time and there’s no miracle cure.

Make a ‘contract’ with a friend

- someone you trust and believes in you. Not just a back patter. A friend can help you to keep the spirit and evaluate your effort.

To fail is OK

You don’t learn by doing what you already know. You must make a step further and try new things to get better. To dare failing is important. It’s neither a disaster nor a failure to fail, just important lessons. Use the experience to be better next time.

Prepare yourself for reactions

“Aren’t you just a little self-centered lately?” Be prepared for comments from your surroundings. Maybe even negativity, but then you can be sure it comes from people who are insecure and feel threatened by your growing self-confidence. If you’re open about your project there are usually no problems. It gives people time to adjust their expectations to you. Usually, they will rather fast get used to you demanding your right. Consider other people so you won’t hurt anybody by demanding your rights. Parents can be the hardest to convert, but it’s easier for your friends and co-workers to accept your new “I”.

Adjust through life

To maintain your self-confidence, it is important, through life, to adjust your goals and wishes comparing to those possibilities you possess. I.e. are you fifty years old, it has no purpose to wish for a body like a twenty-year-old. On the other hand, a higher age means new strings to play and it’s all about getting the best out of the possible.

Check out other tips here at Mind.